I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
