No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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