she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
