You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
