I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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