i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
