I heard we made out
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
