You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
