i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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