i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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