Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize