he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
