Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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