JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize