Where did you get a picture of my penis
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
