with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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