I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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