I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
