Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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