She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize