i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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