dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
