why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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