yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
