its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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