I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
