Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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