Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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