so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
