I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
