girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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