dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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