forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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