I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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