Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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