she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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