it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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