I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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