How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
