strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
