You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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