So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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