I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
