If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
