She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize