Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
