Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
