i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
