he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
