I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
