OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
