Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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