I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
