Jerry, you need to find god
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
