Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
