good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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