ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
