$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
