i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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