so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize