dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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