the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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