you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
