weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This girl is more easily done than said...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
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