We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
