BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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